I didn't compose this joke but here's my version combining 2 punch-lines by Karl Stefanovic & P Smears. If the people you're telling to don't get the first punch-line, hopefully they'll get the second one. You can read where I got this HERE.
A Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says, "Can you make me one with everything?".
.
After the Dalai Lama got his pizza, he paid it with a $100 bill. When the pizza-cashier took the $100 bill, the Dalai Lama asked for his change. "Change," said the pizza-cashier, "must come from within."
.
===.
The video below shows the first half of the joke (the first punch-line) by Karl Sefanovic. The second punch-line by P Smears you can read HERE.
I found this on the internet that I thought added more to the joke...
Question:
I'm not sure if this question is on topic (maybe it just needs to be rephrased), but since this made global headlines due to the Dalai Lama not being able to understand it, I figure most non-native speakers would have trouble getting the joke too. {The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says "can you make me one with everything?"} As can be seen, the Dalai Lama was a bit confused. The thing is, I don't get it either. Is there some sort of pun in there somewhere? Can someone please explain to me why this is a joke?
Here's the best answer:
The joke here is the use of the phrase one with everything. It can be used with either of the following meanings. 1). Spiritual: to be one with everything means to be unified with everything else. This is a main concept in Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. where one feels that everything else is a part of self. To be one with everything is one of the higher aims of such religions. 2).The other meaning of the phrase is to get a pizza with every (available) topping.
Here's an answer that I thought was hilarious:
After the Dalai Lama got his pizza, he paid it with a $100 bill. When the pizza-cashier took the $100 bill, the Dalai Lama asked for his change. "Change," said the pizza-cashier, "must come from within."
These jokes addresses the importance of the punctuation.
===.
A Panda
A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. 'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.' The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'
The joke is putting the comma after "Eats" as in...
Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?, Betty.
Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?, Yours, Betty.
Both paragraphs simulating a written letter have the exact same words... but with punctuation at different places... the meanings between the first and second letter is very different.
===.
Your Grandpa's Life Depends Upon It
Let's eat Grandpa!
Let's eat, Grandpa!
Commas... they save lives.
===.
Who's supplying the drugs?
Say 'NO' to Drugs from your Neighborhood Police Officers.
That one missing comma turned police officers into drug dealers. It should be...
Say 'NO' to Drugs, from your Neighborhood Police Officers.
I just stumbled upon this Art Website. Interesting art work. Look like using color pencils but I am sure it's more than that. If you like his drawings... go to his website at http://blog.ukulelechicken.com/ for more.
Before he died Tommy promised Chet he would continue to perform this song as long as he breathed...
Tommy lost his father when he was 14...
The song's an emotional monster...
I love both versions and yes they make me cry
Grockle1345 1 year ago
My father passed away 4yrs ago, and after listening to this version, I loved it sooo much, I managed to learn this on my guitar as well. Now I play this everytime I visit my Dad's grave. Never forgeting him, always missing him.THANK YOU Tommy !!!!!!!!!!!
brandontntbel1 1 year ago
I saw Tommy play this in Hull last night, it was absolutely stunning. What an incredible musician he is.
mozmal 3 weeks ago
Thank you Tommy - you brought me to a place I'd long buried. My hearts broken once again, but this time not so much as before - Steve
54v115 1 month ago
@biggerbigd Saw him in February this year (St. Petersburg), there wasn't a single dry eye in the house.
ricklandor 1 month ago
Love ya Tommy, You are the greatest. I try to play Borsalino in your honor.
Octoguitarian70 1 month ago in playlist Tommy Emmanuel,Chet Atkins,Jerry Reed
I have to leave the room when I hear this.
BigBrian
brianw793 1 month ago
Nothing like one man and his guitar belting out an epic song............thats just dust in my eye honest
DavoCitizen 2 months ago
I have seen him do this live 3 times and it gets me every damn time! You would have to be a non-human to not feel this. It means even more when you know his dad died when he was about 10.
biggerbigd 3 months ago
I Love keeping Chet alive through his music, Thank you Tommy
ehimprovement 3 months ago in playlist Tommy Emmanuel,Chet Atkins,Jerry Reed 2
If Kyser is good enough for Tommy, its good enough for me! Beautiful version of this song too!
Why I like this? The sound changes when listening to the singers from outside the room and from inside the room. Lots of harmony... I suspect that it's Acappella although the drum sounds like real drums.
===.
GLEE - Full Performance of "Uptown Girl" airing TUE 11/8
I've stumbled upon this and found it interesting. May be useful for me in searching for Chinese Words as it has the Romanized Word with the 4 Chinese Tones.
I'll be using this more as an English-to-Chinese-to-English-Dictionary... but it's more than that... read below.
About EUdict ~ EUdict is a collection of online dictionaries for the languages spoken mostly in the European Community. These dictionaries are the result of the work of many authors who worked very hard and finally offered their product freely on internet thus making it easier to all of us to communicate with each other. Some of the dictionaries have only a few thousand words, others have more than 250,000. Some of the words may be incorrectly translated or mistyped.
Please note that this page will contain 1 Sheet Music Score for 2 Sundays.
In Year B... we're using the same Psalm for these 2 Sundays (shown below)... so the tune for the Psalm is the same. However... the Responses are using different words and have slightly tunes... so choose the response you're going to sing carefully.
Here they are, both on the same Sheet Music Score.
There are 2 gifts here (1st picture) and they are not related to each other.
The one on the left (in the 1st picture)... I couldn't guess what it's for... now I know.
You can read what the one on the right is for in the 2nd picture on the right.
Click on pictures to enlarge.
===. Answers:
here... just use your mouse to highlight this space. .
# The gift on the left... is for holding 3 eggs... to be boiled in hot water.
. # The gift on the right is for... holding a hand-phone that is... being charged at the power-socket. .
===.
I joined the Holy Cross Choir (Singapore) somewhere in 1980. From my perspective, 1991 was the year we were most active, musically. From then on, some of us where moving on to new chapters with our lives. To all the friends I've made, thanks for the memories & to all who are listening --- Merry Christmas.
"May the joy of the season surround you... Merry Christmas... with love".
===.
May The Joy Of The Season Surround You - HCC (1991)
Dedicated to all those who need to smile a bit more.
===.
"Discovering Your Smiling Soul. When you shift into spiritual awareness, you may appear to be living the same life as before, with the same ambitions, joys, and sorrows as before. However, inside, you have a radiant smile that may or may not be visible to the world. Your spiritual soul smiles through the good times and the bad. In fact, as your smiling soul shines more and more into the world around you, the world also begins to reflect your smile back at you. Do you ever find yourself smiling even when no one else is around? If not, try it! Smile to yourself. Smile at being alive. Smile to God, who is always present where you are -- closer than your own breath." ~ Unknown
http://www.finalemusic.com/reader/default.aspx . Finale Reader™ . The Finale Reader is free, downloadable software that makes it easy for everyone to share music. . With the Finale Reader you can: . Open and view any Finale family or MusicXML file Play the file with more than 128 built-in sounds Print engraver-quality sheet music . Compatible with Finale 2011, PrintMusic 2011 and NotePad 2011 files. . The Finale Reader is also compatible with older versions of Finale, Finale PrintMusic, Finale SongWriter, and Finale NotePad files. . Expanded Multi-User Support . Now both Mac and Windows users can log in to the network to use Finale Reader and see their files. The next person to log in sees only their files. Plus Vista and Windows 7 permission issues have been addressed to better support music labs and other site license environments. . Interested in writing your own music? View our full product line. .
John Cennick, a prolific and successful hymn-writer, was descended from a family of Quakers, but brought up in the Church of England. He assisted J. Wesley and then G. Whitefield in their labours for a time, and then passed over to, and died as a minister of the Moravian Church. Born at Reading, Dec. 12th. 1718, he was for some time a land surveyor at Reading, but, becoming acquainted with the Wesleys in 1739, he was appointed by J. Wesley as a teacher of a school for colliers' children at Kingswood in the following year. This was followed by his becoming a lay preacher, but in 1740 he parted from the Wesleys on doctrinal grounds. He assisted Whitefield until 1745, when he joined the Moravians, and was ordained deacon in London, in 1749. His duties led him twice to Germany and also to the North of Ireland. He died in London, July 4th. 1755. Cennick wrote a few prose works and some sermons. He also published a few volumes of hymns. Some of the stanzas of his hymns are very fine, but the hymns taken as a whole are most unequal. Some excellent centos might be compiled from his various works. His religious experiences were given as a preface to his Sacred Hymns, 1741.
Cennick's contribution to 'Spiritual Songs' is found in no. 170, verse 2.
Julian has some interesting comments on this hymn. It shows how hymns are altered in the course of time. 170 is a cento, its composition being arrived at by compiling lines from different authors. Here is Julian's account:- "Lo! He comes with clouds descending, Once for favoured sinners slain"(The Second Advent) The hymn in modern collections which opens with these lines is a cento of a somewhat complicated character. The first form of the hymn is by John Cennick. There is evidence to show that it was sung by the congregation of the Moravian Chapel, in Dublin, on April 20th. 1750; but the earliest printed text known appeared in the fifth (1752) ed. of Cennick's Collection of Sacred Hymns, etc., Dublin, Samuel Powell.
It would take up too much space to give the three renderings contained in Julian's account. It will suffice to point out one or two verses.
===.
Cennick:
"Lo! He cometh, countless trumpets
Blow before His bloody sign!
'Midst ten thousand saints and angels,
See the Crucified shine.
Allelujah!
Welcome, welcome bleeding Lamb!
===.
Wesley:
Lo! He comes with clouds descending,
Once for favoured sinners slain!
Thousand, thousand saints attending,
Swell the triumph of His train:
Hallelujah!
God appears on earth to reign!
===.
Madan:
Lo! He comes with clouds descending
Once for favoured sinners slain!
Thousand, thousand saints attending
Swell the triumph of His train.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Amen! (Madan's alteration).
===.===.===.
Now the verse attributed to Cennick:
===.
Cennick:
Now redemption, long expected,
See! in solemn pomp appear.
All His people, once despised
Now shall meet Him in the air!
Allelujah!
Now the promised Kingdom's come.
===.
Madan:
Now redemption long expected
See! In solemn pomp appear!
All His saints, by man rejected,
Now shall meet Him in the Air!
Hallelujah!
See the Son of God appear!
===.
Wigram, 1856.
See the Saviour long expected,
Now in solemn pomp appear!
And His saints, by man rejected
All His heavenly glory share.
Hallelujah!
See the Son of God appear!
===.
W. Kelly, 1894 has "See the Son of Man appear!"
===.
From what is written here it would be accurate to say that the cento as we have it in 'Spiritual Songs' can be attributed to Cennick, Wesley, Madan and possibly Wigram. It is an excellent example of the changes that can take place in a hymn as it passes through different hands and used in different companies.
The cento is popular with the believers gathered to the Lord's Name and using the Little Flock Hymn Book. It is included in all editions from 1856 to 1978.
1. Now Redemption long expected
Look, my soul, be still and gaze;
All the promises do travail
With a glorious day of grace.
Blessed Jubilee!
Let thy glorious morning dawn.
2. Yea, Amen! let all adore Thee,
High on Thine eternal throne!
Saviour, take the power and glory,
Claim the kingdom for Thine own.
Hallelujah!
Welcome to the Son of God!
3. Full of joyful expectation,
May this thought our courage raise;
There, with all the host of Heaven,
May we sing Thine endless praise.
Hallelujah!
Boundless glory to the Lamb!
Sheet Music
Note from Pickard-Cambridge: Verse 1 (except first line) from O'er the gloomy hills of darknesss by Wm Williams of Pantycelyn, 1772. Verse 1, line 1 and verse 2 (except last 2 lines) from hymns by John Cennick (1718-1755) and Charles Wesley (1707-1788) respectively, combined by M Madan (1760) into the hymn Lo, He comes with clouds descending, as now generally printed.
Dear heavenly Father... we pray for Jon and those dearest to him, his parents and his younger sister. We're all helpless... but all the more... we need to feel your presence... we need to feel your love for us. You created us... surely you have bigger plans for each and every one of us. Jon now has other complications... please be with his family as they go through the daily tasks of deciding what's best for him. Help them decide what needs to be done. Dear God... help us understand why love has to be so painful. Your own son, our Lord Jesus Christ, bore much pain when he died on the cross for us. Hear our prayer for the Jonathan and his loved ones and if it is your will, may he get better. Amen.
Prayer For The Sick Lord Jesus Christ, You bore our sufferings and carried our sorrows, hear our prayers for the sick. Help them to unite themselves with Your sufferings, and if it is Your will, may they get better. Let them never forget that You care for them. Amen.
FLOR Pâtisserie is a Japanese-styled patisserie serving authentic Japanese inspired French pastry, where you can choose to dine in or to take out.
We take pride in using only the freshest and best quality ingredients in our pastries that have been sourced from overseas (Japan, Belgium, and France), and locally. To add to that, our chef from Japan brings with him over 20 years of Japanese baking techniques, and has spent a year and a half tailoring our signature cakes to suit the climate and taste of Singapore.
We do not use baking powder, artificial rising/softening agents, stabilisers, or preservatives in our products. The soft yet moist quality of our cakes is achieved from the natural aeration of eggs being whipped to their full peak.
Made entirely of natural and fresh ingredients, it is no surprise that our pastries do not keep well. As we want our customers to be able to enjoy freshly baked cakes every day, all unsold fresh cream cakes are either sold at a discount at the end of the day, or are disposed of.
If we won't eat it, we won't serve it – FLOR Pâtisserie firmly believes in using only the best ingredients to create beautiful-tasting pastries. Our chef ensures that all pastries that come out of the kitchen are at the peak of harmony in flavours as well as in colours.
===.
Why Flor?
'Flor' is a Portuguese word for flower, and is pronounced in Japanese as 'fu-ro-ru'. Widely recognised and accepted as a symbolic representation of love, passion, and beauty, the flower embodies the delicate balance of nature and beauty.
Chef Yamashita draws his inspiration for his cakes from flowers, and in turn, incorporates the symbolic elements of flowers into his sweet creations.
Like the flower that is a gift from Mother Nature, Chef Yamashita's gift to you is his selection of delectable and colourful offerings, which are his interpretation of the colours, freshness, and life of a flourishing floral garden.
cake geeee
.
