Someone sent me this. Very funny.
You know you're old when…
• To read this article, you'll need to increase the font size or you'll need your glasses.
• You can live without sex but not without glasses.
• Your joints are more accurate than the Weather Report.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• Your back goes out more than you do.
• The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
• You finally got your head together --- now --- your body is falling apart.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
• You don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
• It takes twice as long to look half as good.
• People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
• Clothes you've put away until they come back in style --- they're back in style.
• Your mind makes commitments your body can't keep.
• There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
• You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
• You look for your glasses for ½ an hour, then find they've been on your nose.
• You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..." or "When I was young…"
• The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
• Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them.
• Your eyebrows have more hair than you head.
• It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
• The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
• You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
• You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
• Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
• You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
• You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
• You have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.
• You read more and remember less.
• Younger women start opening doors for you