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Friday, December 30, 2011

English Punctuation Jokes

These jokes addresses the importance of the punctuation.

A Panda

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. 'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.' The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

The joke is putting the comma after "Eats" as in... 
"Eats, shoots and leaves" instead of... 
"Eats shoots and leaves". 

You can read more about this here at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eats,_Shoots_%26_Leaves

Dear John

Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is all about.  You are generous, kind, thoughtful.  People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.  You have ruined me for other men.  I yearn for you.  I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart.  I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?, Betty.

Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is.  All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.  Admit to being useless and inferior.  You have ruined me.  For other men, I yearn.  For you, I  have no feelings whatsoever.  When we're apart, I can be forever happy.  Will you let me be?, Yours, Betty.

Both paragraphs simulating a written letter have the exact same words... but with punctuation at different places... the meanings between the first and second letter is very different.

Your Grandpa's Life Depends Upon It

Let's eat Grandpa!
Let's eat, Grandpa!

Commas... they save lives.

Who's supplying the drugs?

Say 'NO' to Drugs from your Neighborhood Police Officers.

That one missing comma turned police officers into drug dealers. It should be...

Say 'NO' to Drugs, from your Neighborhood Police Officers.

Joke, English, Panda, Punctuation, Comma,

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