Title Under Header

.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Garfield Quotes



• When the lasagna content in my blood gets low, I get mean.

• His I.Q. is so low you can't test it. You have to dig for it.

• Good times are ahead or behind because they sure aren't here.

• If you are patient and wait long enough... Nothing will happen!

• I'm not messy. I'm organizationally challenged!

• If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupid.

• Never leave your food dish under a bird cage.

• Odie, let's talk "effort" versus "return" here. You know, you can still lead a pointless life without all that running around.

• Show me a good mouse, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath.

• Some people have anxiety attacks; some people have gas attacks... I have nap attacks.

• You can bet it wasn't an exercise freak who invented power steering.

• You know what "diet" is, don't you? It's "die" with "tea" that's what it is!

• All I do is eat and sleep. There must be more to a cat's life than that. But I hope not.

• Anybody can exercise but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline.

• Avoid fruits and nuts; after all, you are what you eat.

• Eat every meal as though it were your last.

• I eat too much because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because I eat too much. It's a vicious circle that took years to perfect!

• I shall now attempt to eat a diet lunch consisting of one leaf of lettuce lightly seasoned with one tub of Mayonnaise!

• This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony... How depressing. There's no place to go after you've reached the top.

• Would you be willing to lead a parade in celebration of the lazy life? If the answer is yes... you're all wrong for lazy week.

No comments: