.
A man went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, 'Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and I always have to repeat myself.'
'Well, 'the doctor replied, 'Go home tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness' .
Sure enough, the man goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is preparing dinner and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. Finally, he moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
His wife replied, 'for the forth time, I'm telling you -- it's chicken.'
.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Gloria Patri (Glory Be)
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
Ave Maria (Hail Mary)
Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with You. Blessed are You among women And Blessed is the fruit of Your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God. Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Pater Noster (Our Father)
Our Father, in Heaven, holy be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Do not bring us to the test but deliver us from evil. Amen.
The Apostle's Creed
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, Our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended to the dead. On the third day, he rose again. He ascended into Heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.
Prayer For The Family (Through Our Mother)
Mother of Perpetual Help, bless our families with your tender, motherly love. May the Sacrament of Marriage, bring husbands and wives closer together, that they may always be faithful, and love each other as Christ loves us. Help all mothers and fathers, love and cherish, the children God has entrusted to them. May they always be models of truly Christian love. Help all children, that they may love and respect their parents. Inspire all people, to value Christian marriage and family life. Give us a sense of responsibility, that we do our part, in making our homes havens of love and peace. Mary, our model, help every family grow daily, in genuine love for God and neighbor, so that justice and peace, may flourish everywhere in the human family. Amen.
Our Daily Family Prayer
(Common Catholic Prayers)
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Lord, guide us in our effort as we make our Daily Family Prayer to you. Let us prepare ourselves by recalling to mind our faults and failures as we pray...
The I Confess.
I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do; and I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God. Amen.
The Apostle's Creed.
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, Our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended to the dead. On the third day, he rose again. He ascended into Heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.
The Pater Noster.
Our Father, in Heaven, holy be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Do not bring us to the test but deliver us from evil. Amen.
The Ave Maria.
Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with You. Blessed are You among women And Blessed is the fruit of Your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God. Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.
The Gloria Patri.
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
The Prayer, of, Our Lady Of Fatima.
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, take all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of your Mercy. Amen.
The Prayer of Confidence - In Our Mother.
Mother of Perpetual Help, we come to you and place our trust in you. You are a Mother of mercy. You are called by all the refuge and the hope of sinners; Be then our refuge and our hope. Help us for the love of Jesus Christ. Stretch out your hand to us poor sinners. We bless and thank God for giving us this confidence in you. In the past we have so often sinned, but with your help we can conquer, and you will help us if we pray to you. In all our temptations, may we always turn to you and say: Mary help me! Let me never lose my God. Amen.
The Magnificat.
My soul glorifies the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God, my Saviour. He looks on his servant in her nothingness; henceforth all ages will call me blessed. The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy is his name. His mercy is from age to age, on those who fear him. He puts forth his arm in strength and scatters the proud-hearted. He casts the mighty from their thrones and raises the lowly. He fills the starving with good things, sends the rich away empty. He protects Israel his servant, remembering his mercy, the mercy promised to our fathers, to Abraham and his children for ever.
The Memorare.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to You, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
Prayer For The Sick.
Lord Jesus Christ, You bore our sufferings and carried our sorrows, hear our prayers for the sick. Help them to unite themselves with Your sufferings, and if it is Your will, may they get better. Let them never forget that You care for them. Amen.
The Salve Regina.
Hail Holy Queen, Mother of mercy, hail, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To you do we cry, poor banished children of Eve,: to you do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus, O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary! Pray for us O Holy Mother of God, That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
Prayer For The Family.
Mother of Perpetual Help, bless our families with your tender, motherly love. May the Sacrament of Marriage, bring husbands and wives closer together, that they may always be faithful, and love each other as Christ loves us. Help all mothers and fathers, love and cherish, the children God has entrusted to them. May they always be models of truly Christian love. Help all children, that they may love and respect their parents. Inspire all people, to value Christian marriage and family life. Give us a sense of responsibility, that we do our part, in making our homes havens of love and peace. Mary, our model, help every family grow daily, in genuine love for God and neighbor, so that justice and peace, may flourish everywhere in the human family. Amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Lord, guide us in our effort as we make our Daily Family Prayer to you. Let us prepare ourselves by recalling to mind our faults and failures as we pray...
The I Confess.
I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do; and I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God. Amen.
The Apostle's Creed.
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, Our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended to the dead. On the third day, he rose again. He ascended into Heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.
The Pater Noster.
Our Father, in Heaven, holy be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Do not bring us to the test but deliver us from evil. Amen.
The Ave Maria.
Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with You. Blessed are You among women And Blessed is the fruit of Your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God. Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.
The Gloria Patri.
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
The Prayer, of, Our Lady Of Fatima.
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, take all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of your Mercy. Amen.
The Prayer of Confidence - In Our Mother.
Mother of Perpetual Help, we come to you and place our trust in you. You are a Mother of mercy. You are called by all the refuge and the hope of sinners; Be then our refuge and our hope. Help us for the love of Jesus Christ. Stretch out your hand to us poor sinners. We bless and thank God for giving us this confidence in you. In the past we have so often sinned, but with your help we can conquer, and you will help us if we pray to you. In all our temptations, may we always turn to you and say: Mary help me! Let me never lose my God. Amen.
The Magnificat.
My soul glorifies the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God, my Saviour. He looks on his servant in her nothingness; henceforth all ages will call me blessed. The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy is his name. His mercy is from age to age, on those who fear him. He puts forth his arm in strength and scatters the proud-hearted. He casts the mighty from their thrones and raises the lowly. He fills the starving with good things, sends the rich away empty. He protects Israel his servant, remembering his mercy, the mercy promised to our fathers, to Abraham and his children for ever.
The Memorare.
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to You, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
Prayer For The Sick.
Lord Jesus Christ, You bore our sufferings and carried our sorrows, hear our prayers for the sick. Help them to unite themselves with Your sufferings, and if it is Your will, may they get better. Let them never forget that You care for them. Amen.
The Salve Regina.
Hail Holy Queen, Mother of mercy, hail, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To you do we cry, poor banished children of Eve,: to you do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus, O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary! Pray for us O Holy Mother of God, That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
Prayer For The Family.
Mother of Perpetual Help, bless our families with your tender, motherly love. May the Sacrament of Marriage, bring husbands and wives closer together, that they may always be faithful, and love each other as Christ loves us. Help all mothers and fathers, love and cherish, the children God has entrusted to them. May they always be models of truly Christian love. Help all children, that they may love and respect their parents. Inspire all people, to value Christian marriage and family life. Give us a sense of responsibility, that we do our part, in making our homes havens of love and peace. Mary, our model, help every family grow daily, in genuine love for God and neighbor, so that justice and peace, may flourish everywhere in the human family. Amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
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